If there’s one thing parenthood isn’t lacking, it’s opportunities for personal growth. For many, becoming a parent is a whirlwind of emotions, ranging from incredible joy and pure love to overwhelming self-doubt and bone-deep exhaustion. It’s a transformative journey like no other. You might feel exhilarated one moment and entirely drained the next. Amid all the challenges and changes, one particular life lesson can genuinely make an impactful difference: the power of a simple shift in perspective.

Diving into parenthood can feel like you’re navigating an uncharted ocean without a compass. It’s easy to feel lost, overwhelmed, and even fearful at times. Oftentimes, these are the moments when a refreshing perspective can serve as your guiding star. As the emotional waves ebb and flow, adjusting your mindset can unlock a path to resilience and hope. It can illuminate your path and lift your spirits during those long, challenging nights and monotonous early days. It’s a lesson I wish I had learned before becoming a mom.

Becoming a Parent and Losing Perspective

There are a few images from my first few weeks of motherhood that simultaneously make me laugh and break my heart. One such picture captures me and my swaddled firstborn (who was refusing to nap). We both lay on top of the piles of folded laundry covering my bed. The whisper of a smile pulls at his lips while my face is the very definition of overwhelm and exhaustion.

But let’s be honest, parenting a newborn can feel like you’re stuck in a time loop. Days melt into nights and weeks into months as you lose track of the world outside. You’re constantly pouring your heart and soul into this tiny human. It can often feel like you’re running on empty, with no end in sight.

The perpetual cycle of giving—your time, energy, and resources—can lead you to question if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Will it ever truly get better? It can be so hard to believe the sleepless nights, interrupted meals, colicky evenings, and leaking breasts will all eventually shift from your reality to your past.

The Bigger Picture and Parenthood’s Many Dualities

Consider this: in the vast canvas of life, the initial years spent raising your children are one small fraction of the whole. Assuming we’re privileged enough to live until 90, the years spent from birth to the start of school will be just 5.6% of our lives. It’s a small slice of your entire life’s pie, yet its impact echoes through the decades that follow. It’s during these formative years that you make beautiful memories, build unbreakable bonds, and learn priceless lessons about love, resilience, and self-growth.

Imagine looking at your reflection in the mirror, eyes heavy with sleep, your shirt damp with spit-up. It might break your heart to see yourself in this state of disarray, but the absurdity of it all could also make you laugh. You can sigh with frustration because your newborn won’t nap in their bassinet, or enjoy the time to rest together. The newborn phase can be a slog and a whirlwind, hard and beautiful, exhausting and endearing. The dualities of parenthood are truly endless when you start looking for them. This is parenthood in its raw, unfiltered form: equally chaotic and beautiful.

Finding My New Perspective

Becoming a mom for the second time really drove home the power of perspective for me. This time, it was much easier to stay positive through each struggle because I was able to say and believe, “This too shall pass.” When we go through struggles in life and come out on the other side, we build our resilience. The stronger that muscle is, the easier it is to tap into it when we need it.

To those of you living this chapter right now, I see you and your (often hidden) struggles. Particularly, first-time parents wrestling with the permanence of parenthood and the fear that it will always be like this. Trust me when I say, the ease will come…and go and return again. The time will come when you sleep restfully, your arms regain freedom, uninterrupted warm meals are the norm, and you claim back moments in your life that are just for you. 

Believe it or not, there might even come a day when you’ll miss the sweet madness of these early years. Until then, it’s normal to yearn for these simple pleasures. It’s okay if you don’t love every single minute of this phase. And yes, you truly are stronger and more capable than you may believe right now.

Reminders for the Hard Times

As you navigate this winding path of parenthood, here are a few additional things to remember:

• You’re allowed to be “new” at parenting. Give yourself grace as you learn, grow, and build your parenting skill set.
• Each phase, no matter how challenging, is fleeting. So…
• Embrace the moments that bring you joy, and let them fuel your perseverance during the tougher times. 
• Control what you can control, and do your best to let go of the rest. Somedays, it just is what it is!
• As often as you can, make choices that are in alignment with your values, priorities, and needs. 
• Work on setting boundaries and saying no. This allows you to say yes to what you actually want or need.
• Approach each day, or even each hour, as a new beginning as often as needed. 
• Reach out for support before you’ve reached the end of your rope. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help.
• Do your best to prioritize rest and sleep, both of which can have a big impact on your mental well-being.

It’s inevitable, some days will be more challenging than others, but little by little, you will find your footing. In the meantime, lean into the power perspective and the importance of taking care of yourself, too. Gradually, you will find a trail of cherished moments and small victories that lead you back to your own identity and a life filled with a little more ease.

Wrap up

The newborn phase may be a marathon, but it’s one you’re capable of running. Whether you’re preparing for the journey or currently navigating early parenthood, we’re here to support you. Our private coaching sessions and groups can provide the mentorship, empathy, and empowerment you need. Click here to learn more about what we offer.

Remember, you’re not alone, and we’re willing to bet you’re doing a better job than you think! Lean on us, and let’s embrace the power of perspective together.